When they did seek help, women often went to neighbors/parents/or other relatives, who frequently offered advice about not angering the husband. However, in cases when injury occurred and medical attention was needed, neighbors had at times been instrumental in getting the victim to the hospital or intervening at the scene of violence (when they were not too afraid of personal insult and injury from the perpetrator). Neighbors also sometimes offered the victim an opportunity to talk (though there was often not confidentiality, and neighbors' advice did not necessarily reflect what was best for the victim), "provided shelter and medical care and escorted women and helped them file a complaint." (Walsh 2007: 42)
A smaller percentage of women sought help from village chiefs, who typically presided over reconciliation sessions between the spouses. (n2) Henke and Ninh (2005) reported that “domestic disputes” were ranked by community members and local authorities as the second most pressing problem calling for conflict resolution in Cambodian villages. This indicated awareness in communities about the existence of domestic violence, but the report was limited in that the “domestic disputes” category included inheritance and divorce issues, in addition to violence. Further complicating assessing the actual utility of local authorities providing reconciliation services were two popular conceptions: first, the belief that the agreements reached with local authorities would be implemented (74% of voters and 95% of authorities) second, the belief that “corruption, nepotism, and impartiality” (identified by voters) and limitations in legal knowledge, respect for applicable laws, undeveloped skills, and lack of resources (identified by commune councils) challenged the effectiveness of reconciliation sessions. (11)
Nelson and Zimmerman (1996) described these reconciliation sessions. The husband was typically instructed not to beat his wife and the woman was typically instructed to:
Be a good wife, speak softly, take care of the house, serve your husband.
Don’t say bad things when he comes home from work.
It’s your karma, you must be patient.
Cook better food. Don’t burn the food.
The man is very strong, don’t refuse him, give him what he wants. (49) (n3).
The 1996 survey indicated very few women sought help from the police (44) (n4). An increasing trend, however, was for women to turn to NGOs for help. (n5) For many women, these NGOs represent their only real option for true help and support (Walsh 2007: 39).
***Notes1) According to a 1994 multi-national survey, as many as 77.5% of women who had ever experienced violence sought help. (Kishor, Sunita and Kiersten Johnson 2004: 24)2) “In cases of domestic violence, reconciliation (psapsaah) is the most common avenue suggested to women....A lot of effort is invested in avoiding open, public disputes (ex: a court judgment) that would damage pride and bring shame and loss of face. The goal is to keep the couple together, at all costs....The underlying assumption is that if the victim had been fulfilling her role as a woman, she would not have been battered....Needless to say, conciliators are not trained in handling cases of domestic violence, and they are usually men” (Walsh 2007: 21-22).3) This last statement is a reference to not refusing a husband’s sexual demands, as it is often assumed that domestic violence incidents occurring at night are the result of a wife refusing sex (Nelson & Zimmerman 1996:49).4) "According to the police, a woman must be severely injured or killed before criminal penalties will be pursued. Women have internalized this police inaction and, as a result, most do not even consider contacting the police in cases of domestic violence. Women are also afraid to ask for help from the police; they feel safer staying quiet." Reasons cited for this include that policemen are often friends of the husband, soldiers who batter are almost never investigated, police are inaccessible, and shame. "Indeed, police and officials are reluctant to interfere with what is seen as a “domestic” problem, and often will refuse to investigate domestic violence claims, effectively rendering domestic violence legislation ineffective. Women who did contact the police received little help. In some cases, police officers insisted that there was not sufficient injury. Others claimed that they would prefer not to intervene if weapons were involved." However, when police do actually arrest batterers, rates of recurrence of domestic violence decrease (Walsh 2007:37-38).5) For example, “The reporting of domestic violence cases to LICADHO has significantly increased over the past three years. Whether this represents a real increase in domestic violence in Cambodia, or only in the reporting of domestic violence cases, is unknown. But the reality is that domestic violence is very common in Cambodia, and that higher numbers of victims are seeking assistance” (LICHADO 2007: 15).
