For example, at birth the mother is seen as spiritually responsible for any physical abnormality of her child. Cultural beliefs and practices emanate from the preconception that responsibility for the health, well-being and ‘good’ behaviour of the family ultimately rests with the woman. As caring for the family is primarily the woman’s domain, teenage daughters are kept at home to help in the house and learn how to be future mothers, while boys are expected to help their fathers and to stay at school longer. Boys are encouraged to become educated and given great personal freedom, but girls are taught to be quiet, retiring and shy at all times. To this end, practices of breastfeeding boys much longer than girls, and giving girls less food than boys in order to keep them passive and subservient while encouraging boys to be strong and aggressive, have been widespread, especially in rural areas. With women preferring to give the best food to males and visitors, girls at home are both educationally and nutritionally disadvantaged. (Santry 2005: 126)This disadvantage continued through adulthood, so that marriage (and bearing children) was considered “the only socially acceptable option for women,” and that “unmarried women, widows, divorcees, remarried women, and deserted or childless women are regarded as second-rate citizens.” (2005: 112-113) (n1)
A common criticism in the literature is directed at the chbab srey, a traditional teaching on the role of women in society.(n2) LICADHO (2007) discussed the chbab srey under the heading of Cultural Inferiority and linked it to women blaming themselves for experiencing violence (5). This assessment was made even more strongly by Barber (2000). (n3) CAMBOW (2007) linked the chbab srey to "traditions of inferiority and subservience of women," complicating domestic violence issues and teaching that
"Many men do not accept that women have the right to be free from violence of any form, and many women themselves do not understand this or do not feel they have any way to make it a reality." (7)Lim (2006) also considered the chbab srey an influential factor in stopping women from seeking help or revealing the violence experienced in the home (2). Santry (2005) broadly described the "enormous pressure" women are under to keep the "family face." (n4)
Santry also observed that:
As women were responsible for maintaining the family status, they were under enormous pressure to keep the ‘family face’ within a close community where everyone’s personal life was of great interest. In this environment, gossip was frequently used as a tool for getting even, for keeping others who were feared or disliked in line, or cutting down those who were envied. This resulted in strong levels of pressure on family members to conform to cultural expectations, and led to high levels of personal secrecy. Women in particular had to conform to restrictive behavioural rules and endeavor to conceal perceived weaknesses of others within the family. (114)Human rights advocates in Cambodia considered chbab srey significant enough to be a topic of discussion with the United Nations CEDAW committee in January 2006 –
"The Cambodian Government replied that the code was a matter of national identity and that 'if and when such principles were found to run counter to the needs of present-day society, it was possible to amend them in a process involving a broad set of stakeholders, including civil society.' One Committee member then stated that she did not understand 'how it was possible to fight domestic violence without challenging the code of conduct for women...in fact, the code was part of keeping women in inferior and subservient positions. It also gave men the power to discipline women who violated the code.'" (LICADHO 2007: 9)Taboos surrounding sexuality also play a part in the cultural context for domestic violence. Santry (2005) found that 'good' Cambodian girls were not instructed in sexuality before marriage and were not supposed to feel or express sexual desire. This conditioning was linked to an acceptance of men visiting prostitutes, since a "good" girl could not "satisfy their husbands' sexual needs as they were too shy" (124). (n5) LICADHO (2004b) reported that some women prefer their husbands visit prostitutes rather than engage in long-term affairs with mistresses. (7) In this way, attitudes around sexual assault, trafficking and prostitution in Cambodia contribute to cultural inferiority of women and, thus, the experience of domestic violence. (n6) Barber (2000) described the dehumanization of sexually exploited women as people reduced without "any pretence of humanity .... The girls and women are objects, to be bought, sold, raped, beaten and used in any way their master sees fit. They are not human beings, let alone human beings with any rights." (64) LICADHO (2004a) outlined several social beliefs that further damage sexual assault victims, including shame/loss of face for loss of virginity. In many cases, justice is not pursued in favor of a quieter, less "embarrassing" monetary settlement. (11) (n7) Popular beliefs also contribute to forced sexual relations within the home, often in the form of the husband raping the wife. (Ganju et al 2004) (n8)
Finally, though much of the content in the literature regarding Cambodian culture is negative, Ledgerwood (b) noted that the current status of women in Cambodia is very complicated, with "inherent contradictions" in the cultural ideals. She further suggested that, "Because of these conflicting ideals, all of which are "traditional," Khmer gender ideals can be used in a variety of situations to justify new patterns of behavior."
***Notes1) In an 1999 interview by Santry, MP Tioulong Samura commented, “Without a man, woman is nothing. Women are culturally, socially, economically dependent on their man. Men do not respect their wives. A man’s wife is just a piece of furniture. And, of course, he doesn’t mind having many pieces of furniture.” (2005: 113) See Santry (2005: 119-125) for a discussion on “Marriage and Sexuality.”2) This poem also includes instructions for men, chbab proh. It was published anonymously, but was possibly written by Krom Ngoy (1865-1936), though reflecting even older cultural patterns. For more information, please see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krom_Ngoy3) "The best-known example of social attitudes about how women are ‘supposed’ to act is the Chbab Srey (the Law, or Rules, of the Woman), an ancient poem. According to the Chbab Srey, a wife should 'follow the commands of the husband like a slave', ensure a happy home, and never react to his insults or violence. Such teachings encourage women to stay in abusive relationships and blame themselves for their spouses’ violence, and promotes the social attitude that 'The woman who endures or "bears" (‘droam’) the beating to save her marriage and keep her family together is to be revered; the ones who leave are reviled'.” (Barber 2000: 81-82)4) "Losing face" is the experience of dishonor or shame. See Hinton (2001) for a discussion of Cambodian values of begrudgement and reconciliation.5) "... some more educated women expressed their belief that the biggest problem facing Cambodian women was the sexual behaviour of men. Most Cambodian women, it would seem, have learnt to subvert their sexuality. I found that some urban women used sex to keep their husbands compliant to their material demands..." (Santry 2005: 124)6) The sex industry is still big business in Cambodia. LICADHO (2004) cited estimates ranging from 18,256 (Steinfatt) to 80,000-100,000 (Cambodian Human Development Report 2000). "Either estimate indicates an alarming situation." (18)7) "A common saying in Cambodia explains that “men are gold, and women are cloth.” This saying expresses the double standards in Cambodia where men can be promiscuous and not tarnished, as gold still shines when clean. But women, once they lose their virginity, like white cloth that is dirtied, can never be clean again." (LICADHO 2007: 11-12)8) See "Migration Within and Between Countries" below in this section for more discussion about human trafficking and its impact on cultural ideas condoning domestic violence.
