2.5 How Violence in the Home Affects Men

Traditionally, men have had power in Cambodia while women have filled a subservient role. The “traditional moral code of behaviors (chbab srey), exhorts “that women must serve and respect their husbands at all times" and to "have patience, prove your patience, never respond to his excessive anger." "Culture and tradition dictated that women striving to attain this behaviour will be rewarded” (Lim 2006: 2). Perhaps for these reasons, in the only study available that included statistics on men who were victims of domestic violence in Cambodia, only 3.1% of men sampled reported that their wife had ever used physically violent behaviors toward them. Statistically, the information suggested that the majority of women who hit their husbands were themselves being abused, suggesting “that these abusive behaviors are used in defense or in retaliation” (Nelson & Zimmerman 1996: 18).

Fordham (2005) indicated that the socialization of boys into men, stress, and a lack of "cultural traditions for reconciling contrary opinions" all contribute to the widespread use of domestic violence by men and suggest the need to recognize and address the structural systems that influence gender-based violence. He also suggested that previous research and interventions in Cambodia were based on one or the other of two models, the “warrior model” or the “individual pathology model." Instead, Fordham related the work of J. Oversen et al. as an alternative approach for understanding male behavior within Cambodian society.

“... in Cambodian society there are no cultural traditions for reconciling contrary opinions or accepted rules for resolving conflicts and that, in situations of potential conflict, loss of face must be avoided at all costs ... men are acting out of frustration when they resort to violence [because] their ‘cultural heritage’ offers no other way out of a humiliating, conceptually or socio-economically difficult situation. In most situations an act of violence is preferable to the loss of face.” (n1) (Fordham 2005: 63)

In keeping with this alternative approach, Fordham addressed issues of masculinity and also the potential effects of pornography on both male and female perceptions of sexuality. (n2)

Fordham noted the discrepancies between youth perceptions that the man should be the financial supporter of the family and the reality in Kandal Stung district of the high rate of male unemployment and female income generation. This “failure...to cope in the traditional way...is exerting emotional pressure” on men, “impelling them to even greater (yet ultimately futile) efforts to show they can cope through controlling behaviors within the family” (64-65).

Fordham (2005) also examined consumption of alcohol as it is associated with perceptions of masculinity. He stated that

“it is through beginning to go about with friends (dar leng), starting to learn to drink alcohol, going to karaoke with friends and beginning to have sex (most often with commercial sex workers, but also with girlfriends) that young men signify their transition to a grown-up masculine status.” (66)

Further, Fordham reported that the “male culture and the socialisation of young men...encourage[s] not just drinking but drunkenness” (66). He indicated that international research “shows that when stressed people drink, they tend to become violent, and that alcohol intensifies defensive activity and increases the likelihood that young men will perceive the behavior of others as challenging” (67-68). Regardless of if alcohol causes violence or is just a correlative symptom of an underlying cause, (n3) PADV interventions with violent offenders in Cambodia have seen a simultaneous decrease in violence and alcohol consumption (68). (n4)

Pornography, which has become increasingly accessible in Cambodia, should also be considered in its relation to domestic violence. Much of the pornography (which is often viewed by children (n5) as well as adults)

“feature[d] sex as an arena in which male sexual aggression is directed against female bodies....Pornography objectifies women as insatiable sex machines, ready to accommodate every possible sexual request....their role is solely to please men. If they say ‘no’, this is just a token resistance and legitimately overcome by force” (Fordham 2005: 83).

Finally, individuals working with female victims of gender based violence and marital rape stated that these informants connected the viewing/reading of pornography as a major inspiration of violence. (n6) Fordham hypothesized that the “unreal (and unrealisable) expectations in men’s minds in regard to their sex lives” caused by pornography could be a “causative factor in marital violence.” When sexual performance is used "as an indication of their masculinity,” a "vicious circle" can be created where: it adds more stress to the men and

“more pressure is exerted on wives for more sex and more varieties of sex, leading to more instances of marital rape and GBV [gender based violence] within marriage” (86).

***Notes

1) Fordham quoting Oversen. When Every Household is an Island: Social Organization and Power Structure in Rural Cambodia (1996: 42).

2) For a complete report on factors relating to masculinity determined by the Fordham project, see chapters 4 and 5 of “Wise” Before Their Time for more details (Fordham 2005).

3) See section 1.4, sub-section "The Abusive Personality" in this literature review for information regarding the possibility that alcohol abuse and domestic violence are not causally related but are, rather, symptoms of what is labeled “the abusive personality”.

4) “Due to the small size of the sample and self-reported nature of the data, it is not possible to draw any firm conclusions beyond noting the association” (Fordham 2005: 68).

5) See Fordham. “As if They Were Watching My Body”: Pornography and the Development of Attitudes Towards Sex and Sexual Behavior Among Cambodian Youth. 2006. Phnom Penh, Cambodia: World Vision Cambodia.

6) LICADHO (2004b) also linked pornography with increased rape cases (13).